Thinking Girls Book Club

Battle Hymn review

2011-08-24T08:47:00.000-06:00

a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10173280-battle-hymn-of-the-tiger-mother" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px">Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I gave this book 4 stars because it was well written and very readable, not because I agreed with her. I couldn't put it down.

However, it was kind of like watching a train wreck... like you can't not watch it. This mother is the typical asian music mom times by 20. I think we've all seen parents like these in all fields, but this book shows what happens behind closed doors. I do appreciate her honesty. She made no attempt to see things through rose colored glasses. However, it was a little disturbing how emotionally abusive she is of her daughters and how proud she is of it. I actually agree with a lot of her theories, but I think she is too far on the extreme side.

She says, "What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences." I agree with the first sentence...and partially with the second sentence.

She also says, "my goal as a parent is to prepare you for the future-not to make you like me." Agreed. Parenting shouldn't be about trying to be your kids' friend, but that doesn't give you license to emotionally abuse your children and work them to death either.

Chua has some good concepts and Ideas, but they're poorly executed in my opinion. No wonder her youngest daughter hated her and rebelled. There's just no excuse for calling your daughter garbage...

View all my reviews

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

2011-08-21T15:37:00.000-06:00

Have you guys read this book??? It is a little insane. But insanely readable.

Outliers

2011-07-02T13:49:00.000-06:00

I loved this book. Loved it.

President Holland at UVU has a Freshman Reading Challenge every year to try and get the Freshmen to get into an academic mindset at the beginning of their college career (which I think is brilliant, seeing as most of the Freshmen I teach have not read anything, or if they have, it's Twilight and that's about it...yikes). Last year this was one of the books (the other was Antigone) and I just didn't get around to it until the end of the year, but I am so glad I read it.

I have so many notes throughout the book that I wanted to go back through and discuss. I'll try and keep it down to bare minimum here, but if you haven't read it, do.

It's not necessarily a how-to for success, but it blows a lot of the prominent theories that exist surrounding success right out of the water.

It is the study of success and abnormally successful people, and the results were very unexpected.

One of the big ideas of the book is that 10,000 hours of practice is required to achieve professional excellence in any endeavor. This is on average about 3 hours a day over 10 years. He states that it takes the brain this long to assimilate the information, and that age 8 is the best age to start this kind of an elite training program (whether it be in music, sports, computer science, aviation, etc.).

I think this is interesting because in ballet you are told from the time that you are little that age 8 is when a ballet dancer should start serious study of the art form, and that it takes 10 years to train a ballet dancer. I, myself, tell my students this all the time. I believe it's true... it's just interesting to think that this applies to any field.

The thing that I loved about his conclusion was that they didn't find anyone who didn't practice this much who reached a professional level. And on the flip side, they didn't find anyone who did practice this much that didn't achieve a professional level of expertise.

To me, the message was if you really want to do something, and you are willing to put in 10,000 hours (not something anyone does lightly), you can achieve a professional level of achievement in whatever your choice is.

Obviously, unless you have an endless supply of money or an endless supply of talent, or sometimes both, then certain things might not happen for you. But I liked that it tore down this elitist kind of attitude that sometimes exists amongst the truly successful.

The book says much about successful people who state that they are a "self-made man" and how ridiculous that thought is. It shows several examples of people who are the most successful in their field and how they put in their 10,000 hours, and then they just happened to be in the right place at the right time with the right tools at their disposal.

Another great point in the book is that intellect and ability have little to do with each other. A study took a bunch of kids with the highest IQs in their age groups and followed them for the rest of their lives. One would think that these people were the next nobel prize winners, etc. but for the most part, they lead average lives, making average salaries etc.

One more great thought. The book says, "America doesn't have a poor kids disadvantage in education. It has a summer vacation disadvantage."

Studies show that no matter a childs' socio-economical standing, all kids achieve about the same amount during the school year, if you are judging what they can do at the end of the school year as opposed to when the school year starts. But where the wealthy children have the advantage is that they get ahead of their poor classmates during the summer months.

It argues that parents who are wealthier aren't so busy just trying to make ends meet that they have the luxury of taking time to teach their children, and they have the money to send them to summer camps and get tutors, etc. The study found that in poorer households, the parents were gone almost all day long just trying to make money to live that in the summer break months, the children were left without any kind of educational guidance... or very little.

Thus, the shorter the summer vacation, the more achievement is possible for children academically. In America, children attend school 180 days out of the year, whereas Japanese children are in school for 242 days of the year.

Just some thoughts. I had so many more as I was reading them, and there's so much great material in this book that I haven't even touched on, but these were my main thoughts.

Anyone else out there have other thoughts or things that influenced them from the reading of this book?

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

2011-06-08T16:01:00.000-06:00

This was one of those books that is just a classic. It's a classic because it's well written. It's a classic because it's historically accurate, preserving a time and culture and people. It's a classic because it makes you think about some of the harder questions in life. It's a classic because of the flawed and realistic characters and their relationships with each other.

I know it changed me and opened my eyes from reading it. I know that because I find myself thinking about it still.

When I was reading it, I liked it and I thought it was good. But when I finished it and have thought back on it since, it felt like it was an important book for me to read. It was important for me to see how many opportunities I have been given in my life and how blessed my life is. It was important for me to see that it is not what we are given, but what we do with what we are given. It was important for me to see how much I get caught up in all the "stuff" in my life, even when I try so hard not to. It was important for me to see that even deeply flawed people can be a huge influence for good in others' lives. It was important to remind me to look for that good in everyone I see.

The content is difficult. But at the same time, it's beautiful to see what a young girl can accomplish and become with so many hardships in her way. I love the analogy of the trees as well:

"Don't say that. It's not better to die. Who wants to die? Everything struggles to live. Look at that tree growing up there from the grating. It gets no sun, and water only when it rains. It's growing out of sour earth. And it's strong because its hard struggle to live is making it strong."

This was probably one of my favorite quotes of the whole book:

"Dear God, let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be happy; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well-dressed. Let me be sincere- be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost."

How much do we get caught up in wanting everything in our lives to be perfect? Why are we unhappy because we don't have enough money? The car we want? The home we want? The career we want? The life we want? The family we want?

Why can't we take the good and the bad and just live the life God gave us and be happy that we still have our freedom and the ability to choose what we want to do. Why don't we just LIVE?

What did you think?

2011-05-06T16:01:00.000-06:00

What did you think of Behind Rebel Lines?

I have been wanting to read this for awhile after seeing it in a reading list that all girls should read before they grow up from the Daring Book for Girls. It obviously is written for very young children. It was a nice easy read and an interesting story, and I think I would have thought it interesting as a young girl. As an adult, I found myself wondering how much of this was based on research and how much was a narrative of what the author thought happened. It would be interesting to research a bit more.

I thought it was interesting to compare this girl to girls that are growing up today. Would any girl growing up now feel that deep desire to serve her country and want to have an impact on history in this way? And if they did, would they be courageous enough? I have to admit that I don't know if I could have done this. I don't know that I'm brave enough, or that I would believe in whatever-the-cause-may-be enough to leave home and family and go on a wild adventure.

What did you think?

Debate

2011-04-30T15:50:00.000-06:00

Before discussion begins on Behind Rebel Lines, I saw a poll in the Costco magazine that I thought would be interesting to put before you all. The question is this:

"Should Literary Classics be Sanitized?"

Recent editions of classics have been edited to remove racially charged words and other inappropriate language. Supporters of the revised editions say that this is helpful so that the books don't need to be banned completely and allows everyone to enjoy the work. Critics argue that this amounts to desecrating the writer's work, rewriting history and denying modern students the learning experience of asking hard questions.

I will weigh in, myself, but what do you think?

Aaaaaaand... we're back!

2011-04-02T10:29:00.001-06:00

Hi Everyone! (Is anyone still there?) I'm sorry for my unintentional Sabbatical from Book Club activity! I had some family issues and had to pare our activities down to the very bare minimum in order to get through the days, but I am ready to come back to my previous life!

I am putting together a list of upcoming reads, and was wondering if you had any suggestions? I thought we'd start out super easy in coming back from the break with a short read. I found the suggestion in the Daring Book for Girls under the heading of "Books that all girls should read" and it looks pretty good (and short!)

If you are interested in continuing with the Book Club, the April book will be:

Behind Rebel Lines: The Incredible Story of Emma Edmonds, Civil War Spy

What else should we put on the Docket?

Book Reviews

2011-01-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

I hope you are enjoying Follow the River, but in the meanwhile, I thought I'd put up some book reviews from the past year.

Here are some from our friends here on the book club (Andrea, you are an honorary member...) that I put up without their permission, so give me a holler if you want this off.

Ashlee's 2010 book review

Andrea's 2010 book review (part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6)

Shayla's 2010 book review (part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6)

And if there's anyone else out there with a review, let me know and I'll put it up!

And here are some very random lists of the best of the best from 2010 lit.

Amazon's Best Books of 2010

NY Times top 10 of 2010

Best of 2010 from Fiction Award Winners

Publisher's Weekly

NY Times best illustrated children's books

More Children's books

Publisher's Weekly best of Children's books

ALA's best young adult books

Goodreads best of YA books for 2010

Amazon YA books

I don't know about you, but my "to-read" list just got about a mile longer.

A Christmas Carol

2010-12-31T13:05:00.000-07:00

"Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead," said Scrooge. "But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me!"

I love to read this every year... something about the genius of the verbiage combined with the themes of the book (and the fact that I can hear muppets in my head saying the words along with me as I read) makes me feel like it is Christmas for sure!

As a play on the quote above, I was just wondering, if the ghosts of your past, present and future were to come to you today, what would you regret? What would you be happy about seeing? And what would you (after seeing the "big picture" of your life) want to depart courses from things that you are engaged in at the moment?

I think for me the one thing that I am not totally ecstatic about in my past and present life is how busy I get. This last semester reached kind of a breaking point for me. I had a ton that I was trying to juggle and I did juggle them successfully. But at what cost? I know that I was not as patient at home with my daughter and I know that I did not work on any of my most important relationships at all. I have wonderful friends and family, but if I don't take time to enjoy them, I feel like it will get to a point where I will lose something extremely valuable in the exchange. Don't get me wrong, I was doing things that I have wanted to do and am glad to say I have done them, but I think I was running faster than I had strength, if you will. This is one thing in sitting down to reflect on the last year and making new resolutions for 2011 that I would really like to depart from and really take the time to just be and just breathe.

Do any of you have new years resolutions? Or was there any part of the book that spoke to you?

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I do every year! Merry Christmas!

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!"

I am the Messenger

2010-12-10T08:15:00.001-07:00

So... what did you think of I am the Messenger by Markus Zusak? Was it better than The Book Thief? In what way? Don't you just love his writing style?

Catch 22 Review

2010-12-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

We gave Catch 22 a

3 out of 5

The Actor and the Housewife

2010-11-29T07:27:00.000-07:00

Have any of you read this book? Below is my goodreads review. But I'm curious, what did you guys think?

The Actor and the Housewife by Shannon Hale
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I really have had a hard time knowing what to rate this book.

For the pros: The dialogue really was very witty and at times I laughed out loud, and it was good enough that I actually finished it in not too long a time, which at this stage in my life is saying something.

However, I think I'll agree with some of the previously written reviews of the book that it was a little bit too much of the authors personal fantasy fleshed out in a book and it got a little ridiculous at points.

I love Shannon Hale and I salute her for doing something different, but it really didn't work completely although I enjoyed the ride for the most part.

View all my reviews

Catch 22

2010-11-05T13:31:00.002-06:00

The following questions are from the Random House website

STARTING POINTS FOR YOUR DISCUSSION

Throughout the novel, scenes of unalleviated horror are interwoven with farcically comic scenes. How effective is this juxtaposition?
In what ways is Yossarian a typical literary hero? Would you class him as the novel's hero or its anti-hero?
Although Catch-22 is set in the Second World War, it was published at a time when America was going through great changes. To what extent do you think the novel provides a social commentary of the time in which it was written as well as of the era in which it was set? Are its issues still pertinent in today's society?
How do notions of power and bureaucracy function in Catch-22?
How do you react to the female characters? What role do they play in the narrative?
Catch-22 has a vast roll-call of hilarious characters. In what ways does Heller use them to develop his themes?

The Poisonwood Bible

2010-10-07T10:11:00.002-06:00

I have heard great things about this book and it has been on my to-read list for a long time. I checked it out from the library to read for last month's book club book. I got about 60 pages in and I still wasn't getting interested in the book and, before I knew it, three weeks was up and it was time to return the book to the library. Has anyone else read this? Is it worth trying again and reading the whole thing, or should I move on to the next book? I hate leaving a book unfinished, but I just don't have as much time to read as I would like.

In another vein, I finally read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and I loved it. I wish I had read it when the discussion was happening on this blog!

Same Kind of Different as Me

2010-09-02T19:10:00.002-06:00

Here are some questions to get the discussion started on Same Kind of Different as Me.

Consider these LitLovers talking points to help get a discussion started:

1. At the beginning of the book, what kind of person is Ron Hall? How would you describe him (how does he describe himself)? Why does he agree to volunteer at the homeless shelter, and what is his initial reaction in doing so?

2. Talk about the trajectory of Denver Moore's life. What events have landed him in the homeless shelter? Discuss the differences between his life and Ron Hall's. What is Denver's world view?

3. Talk about Deborah Hall? What inspires her life? What does she think of Denver Moore?

4. Eventually, Denver and Ron, two men who have lived vastly different lives, become close friends. What do the two see in one another? What draws them together?

5. What are the symbolic implications of the conversation about how white men fish, especially their catch-and-release method? What does that conversation say about each man, and what is the underlying message that Denver is trying to pass onto Ron?

6. What is the meaning of the book's title, "Same Kind of Difference as Me"? What does it refer to?

7. How do both men change by the end of the book? What do they learn from or teach each other?

8. This is a story about how hate and prejudice can be overcome by love and grace. How difficult is that achievement in most of our lives? What can this book teach us?

9. Does this book inspire you? If so, in what ways?

(Questions by LitLovers. Please feel free to use them, online or off, with attribution. Thanks.)

The Happiness Project

2010-09-02T19:08:00.000-06:00

As a book club, we rated The Happiness Project:

4 out of 5

Another Secret of Adulthood...

2010-08-13T13:17:00.002-06:00

...that I was reminded of this morning:

You can't rush a 2 year old!

What are some of your secrets of adulthood?

The Happiness Project

2010-08-03T13:53:00.001-06:00

Hi All,

How did you like The Happiness Project?

I gotta say, the author really drove me crazy, but I loved the content, and I loved how methodical she was about dissecting Happiness and what it means and how to get more. It gave me a lot of food for thought and had some great ideas in there. I also just got on her blog for the first time and there's some interesting stuff there and it's jam packed with great quotes to get you thinking.

What I have been wanting to ask you, whether you read it or not, is if you were asked to write down your Secrets of Adulthood, and your 12 personal commandments, as Gretchen Rubin did, what would they look like? (Click the links to see Gretchen Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood and 12 personal commandments (this link is actually for the home page of the blog, but her 12 commandments are on the sidebar on the left))

Or if you weren't going to write your own Secrets, and Commandments, which of hers do you like or identify with? Which have stuck with you after you finished reading the book?

The one that has stuck with me since I read the book back in January is:

What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.

I am an all or nothing type of person, and I have been trying to teach myself this same lesson a lot lately in all aspects of my life: housework, work work, reading, teaching Jocelyn, etc. I recite this Secret of Adulthood subconsciously since reading the book, and I think it has helped. I also really loved this one:

Outer order contributes to inner calm.

I have probably been driving people crazy lately talking about redecorating my house all the time, but it is what I have been trying to do for myself and my family to create that "outer order". In my re-decorating, I have gotten rid of mountains of junk (just like Gretchen did with her closet). I also have been trying to find storage solutions for our teeny tiny house so that I can really have "A place for everything and everything in its' place" even if I don't have a linen closet or a pantry. I got rid of anything that I didn't LOVE. I gave away stuff that it almost hurt to get rid of, and painted the walls in bold hues, and guess what? Now, for the first time in my life, when I walk into my house, my soul breathes a sigh of relief and I feel comfortable.

It seems silly to go on and on about a house project, but I really feel that the Spirit resides in my home more now that it is a haven and my soft place to land. It is a temporal thing, but I feel like I am a better mother and wife because I'm not stressed out by junk piles everywhere.

I definitely would include this in my own personal Secret of Adulthood.

I also loved one that a blog reader wrote in that said, "buy whatever you want at the grocery store. It costs less than eating out." Isn't that the truth.

What would make your list?

Review

2010-08-03T13:25:00.000-06:00

As a book club, we gave Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

1 out of 5

we were not fans!

Book Idea

2010-08-02T15:14:00.002-06:00

My Mother-in-Law was telling me about this book called Follow the River and I thought it sounded interesting. It's a true story about a woman who is captured by the indians and the first half is about her ordeal with them, then the second half is about her escape with an old dutch lady who goes mad and tries to kill her to eat her. She said it was really good so I thought I'd try it out

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

2010-07-02T15:23:00.000-06:00

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith

My rating: 1 of 5 stars
This was a ridiculously stupid book. I can't believe I bought it. I thought it unfair that the author made money for adding zombie scenes to someone elses hard work. Not to mention, it was fairly graphic.

View all my reviews >>

There you have it folks. I thought about toning it down and being nicer, but in Ms. Austin's defense, I felt it needed to be said!!

I heard people raving about this book, so I thought "sure, I'll give it a shot". I had to stop reading when Elizabeth ripped the heart out of the ninja and ate it... that's the limit.

But, that's what book clubs are for: to read things you would have normally not read. So in that sense, success! I got outside my comfort zone for sure.

What did you all think?

Westing Game Review

2010-07-02T15:15:00.002-06:00

As a book club, we gave The Westing Game

3 out of 5

Informative Site

2010-06-06T12:59:00.000-06:00

Although you all are the type that would read your children's books yourself to find out whether they were suitable for your children, I thought this was a great site. It's called The Literate Mother and she reviews children's and young adult books based on violence, language, adult content, etc. so you can see what your kids would be reading. She also reviews books. Click HERE to check it out.

The Westing Game Discussion Questions

2010-06-02T12:58:00.000-06:00

Hi All,

Here are some questions to spark discussion on The Westing Game. Click HERE to find them.

Hope you all enjoy Pride and Prejudice and Zombies for June...should be an interesting change of pace! :)

The Great Divorce review

2010-06-02T12:54:00.000-06:00

As a book club, we gave The Great Divorce

4 out of 5

The Great Divorce

2010-06-02T12:52:00.000-06:00

Hi All,

Sorry it has taken me so long to get around to this blog. I found some interesting background on The Great Divorce. Click HERE to check it out.

Also, HERE are some questions for discussion if anyone is interested. It is quite lengthy but if you scroll down to the bottom you'll see some questions.

Review

2010-05-19T11:43:00.000-06:00

As a book club, we gave The Help

5 stars out of 5

One of the best we have read yet!

Call Me Slacker

2010-05-05T20:08:00.005-06:00

Sorry ladies! I've been a bit absent in the book club lately. I didn't read for March, and admittedly I didn't reread The Great Divorce for April.....BUT, I do think it's a fabulous book, so I thought I'd post some thoughts that I originally posted on my personal blog fresh after I read it.

......What I loved about this book is that the individual had the opportunity to watch others also on the journey, and see how their decisions affected them. Each of these individuals had a specific "vice" or downfall that needed to be overcome in order to achieve the highest realm. Many simply could not overcome their weaknesses and chose to return to their stagnant positions in "hell". What struck me about this is; first, that these people were offered every opportunity to choose to stay in "heaven" and it was only their own unwillingness to change that kept them from glory. I believe that we have a loving Father in Heaven that truly wants us to live to our divine potential, and that through our Savior, Jesus Christ, he has given us every opportunity to overcome obstacles in our way. He wants us to return to him.....it will be our choice if we don't.

Second, some of these vices were a bit surprising. There was one that represented most "sins" as we think of them. Addictions, habits, things we do that keep us away from God. It was represented by a man with a lizard on his shoulder, that controlled him. He was the one out of all the figures represented that was able to overcome and "move on" so to speak. When he allowed his lizard to be destroyed, it turned into a beautiful white stallion. This reminded me of the scripture in Ether 12:27, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." It was interesting to note that all of the other vices represented were things that we might not normally think of as sin. One was a mother who loved her son, but she loved him to the exclusion of all else, making life miserable for her husband and daughter after his passing. Another was a man with a problem of self-pity. All of these characters except the man with the lizard, chose to return to "hell" although they didn't see it as such. It was a place where they could hold on to that which they couldn't let go of, although it kept them stagnant. It was too uncomfortable for them to let go of what they had held on to for so long. It was pointed out that sometimes these sins are harder to recognize and let go of, because they may start with good intentions. It is good to love your son, but not to the exclusion of everyone else. It is good to recognize fault in ourselves, but only to the point that it helps us improve. Guilt and pity do not come from God.

Reading this made me want to take a closer look at myself. What is my pet vice? Is there something, maybe even with good intentions, that I cling to that keeps me from progressing? This book was very thought provoking, and I highly recommend it to all.

More "help"...

2010-04-21T11:50:00.001-06:00

Ashlee left a comment on my blog wanting to talk about The Help some more, and I totally agree. We haven't even scratched the surface on this one! This book has so many themes and issues in it, it would take a long time to do it justice. But I did want to comment on these two questions put out by the publisher:

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother but, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter— and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

I have always struggled with being a good judge of character. I think I'm more like Celia in that I tend to see everyone as good, even if what they do is not in keeping with that...which I think is a good thing to some extent. But...my husband on the other hand is the type of person who can tell what kind of character a person has just from meeting them once. He frequently will tell me that I need to watch out for so and so so they don't take advantage of me or something similar, and I usually listen but think he's being a little harsh... surely that person isn't thaaaaat bad, right? And then usually months or years later that person will do something and burn me and I'll have to admit that my husband was one hundred percent right about that person.

I'm not condoning snap judgments, but waiting until you get burned by someone to stop trusting them can't be the best way to live, do you think? Does anyone else struggle with the mix of good and bad in people? I have a hard time knowing who to trust and when. Is that a bad thing? Or is it worse to judge people before they act? I wish that this wasn't even an issue but in our world today, I think things aren't so much black and white as they are every shade of gray, with evil being disguised as good and vice versa. And maybe that's what we're here for-to love everyone even with all their unsympathetic qualities. But I don't think that means we shouldn't judge righteously...

My first reaction was to not like Skeeter's mom, but in the end, she did stand up for Skeeter and maybe I wouldn't have acted much differently had I lived in that area at that time. I don't know?

I'm not saying this very well, but do y'all know what I mean?

Can we start yet?

2010-03-26T20:03:00.002-06:00

So I have a lot to say about "The Help," but I want to hear what ya'll have to say about it before I just shoot off a massive post with all my feelings. I'm shooting for a more detailed post instead of an overall review if you will. So two things I want to say:

A- Celia Foote was my favorite character to read.

B- I absolutely adored Aibileen continually telling Mae Mobley she was good, kind and smart.

Okay concerning Celia: It may seem odd that she was totally my favorite character when you compare her to ... say... Aibileen, but I just couldn't help but love her! I felt totally sympathetic towards the one person in the book who didn't get the rules. I loved how hard she tried and how very natural she was (okay I know the oober-blonde hair and all wasn't exactly "natural,"but the point is that she was who she was!) I guess she was trying to live by the rules, but she didn't get them, and she put so much of her own natural inclinations into things. And even though you knew she was always going to fail I wanted so badly for her not to! (I thought all the lead up to the big ball, which name is escaping me at the moment, was truly hillarious. The author did such a great job at building and building up to it. I was mortified for her and it was kind of a "I want to look away but I just CAN'T," kind of feeling for me.)

I was so grateful that she had such a sweet and adoring husband who didn't care what anyone else thought. If he hadn't have been in the picture or if he had turned out to be a jerk it would have been too much for me.

I also loved her for the way she was able to love Minny, and I loved watching their relationship develop. I loved how Minny professed she was a "crazy fool," but how her actions spoke louder than words and you knew she was starting to love her in spite of herself. How could you not? Celia is so pathetically loveable.

Now concerning Aibileen telling Mae Mobley she was good. Oh! I appreciated this so much! I have long felt that in ANY relationship, but especially relationships with children it is SO important to tell people they are good! I really believe that we all have such a power within us to help people become who it is they are going to become (did that confuse you how I said that?!?). I just think that if you continually hear that you are bad- you start to believe it and then act it. But the opposite is also true- if you continually hear you are good you believe it- or if you don't believe if you at least WANT to believe it and try and make your actions consistent with what you are being told.

As a child my mother always expressed so much confidence in me. Always, always I was being told in one way or another the same thing that Aibileen told Mae... that I was good, that I was smart, and that I was kind. As a young child I just accepted it and it gave me confidence, as a youth when I screwed up but she kept telling me anyway, I wanted so much to make it the truth so I tried hard to live up to it.

Reading it from Aibileen was really touching, especially where Elizabeth was telling her daughter the exact opposite. I loved her trying to offset her mom's influence. Sad! That she had to do it, but good that she did.

Any thoughts?

ps- I'm sorry I can't just say something short and simply. I have yet to learn that skill.

Couldn't put it down... literally

2010-02-28T20:58:00.002-07:00

***Warning***plot spoilers***don't read unless you want to know what happens in the book

Okay, I just have to say first of all, that I literally read this in 5 days straight, which is saying a lot for how crazy busy I am (the same as the rest of you, I realize), but I just couldn't put it down. When I had to go to work, I had my Kindle read it to me in the car, lol. First of all, I thought that the relationship between Noel Strachan and Jean was very weird. And I understand it at the same time. She didn't have anyone else in the world to turn to, so he became his family, and he didn't have much by way of family either, so they suited one another. But all the same, I thought it was interesting how much detail she shared with him about EVERYTHING. And how he basically wished he was younger to have married her himself... I don't know, it gave me the creeps.

I also didn't necessarily love the narrator's voice. I understand that's how Mr. Strachan was tied into the book best, but he reported on everything in such an impassive, unfeeling way. In some parts of the book, I appreciated that, because it would have been way too graphic if it had been too emotional and/or descriptive, but in other parts of the book, it drove me crazy that he just reported on people dying and being beaten as if it was just a walk in the park.

I thought Jean's role in a male-dominated society was very interesting. She obviously learned how to be diplomatic enough to get what she wanted out of everyone, but in a sincere way still, but the part that really struck me was how she was coming in to Malaya after the war to pay for and put up a well and washing hut for the women, and yet she had to jump through all the hoops and make it seem like it was the men's idea and get permission before she could move forward. In some ways, I don't think this has changed much in our society... we all know certain people, men or women, who we have to butter up and sweet talk to get what we want out of them (or maybe it's just me with the University politicking I live with day to day). And I thought it was a very telling comment about the culture of that society that the men were wondering if they had done a bad thing by allowing the women to have something that caused so much laughter.

Mostly throughout the book, I just kept thinking about how every hard thing we do, helps prepare us and teach us valuable lessons. In most cases we wouldn't be able to do what we do if we didn't have some kind of difficult experience to prepare ourselves for what we are asked to do. I have a friend who has gone through an almost literal hell with her husband for the past two years, and has been wondering, why? Why me? What am I supposed to learn from this if anything? She recently was appointed to a fairly large leadership opportunity and is going to be over about 20 faculty members who are all strong-willed and who tend to fight amongst each other. I talked to her the other day, and she was just in awe because she just had realized that day that she was prepared to take on this new assignment because she had learned so much in the past few years about conflict management and resolution, among other things. It has given me a greater resolve to try to learn the lessons I am supposed to at the time of my most difficult situations with a happy heart, realizing that I will be better for it. I thought that this was one of the main points of this book. It was just very interesting to see how Jean turned her horrific experience in the war into a very happy and profitable life afterward. Not that she would wish it upon herself again, but she was just very practical in applying the lessons she learned, almost like Dashti, just very matter-of-fact.

Sorry this is so lengthy, but I want to know....What did you gals get out of the book? Anything that really stuck with you?

Review

2010-02-28T20:40:00.001-07:00

As a book club, we voted and gave Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale:

4.3 out of 5

The Help

2010-02-28T20:36:00.003-07:00

Here are some questions put out by the publisher on March's book, The Help, to get your brains going as you read the book this month. I read it early and I loved it, so I hope you do too!

1. Who was your favorite character? Why?

4. How much of a person’s character would you say is shaped by the times in which they live?

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter is willing to overlook so many of Stuart’s faults so that she can get married, and that it’s not until he literally gets up and walks away that the engagement falls apart?

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, that Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent, or taught?

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first century reader, the hairshellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of “beauty” changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what’s the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quiet grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where people of color work for people who are white?

11. What did you think about Minny’s pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Minny did for revenge?
(Questions issued by publisher.)

A Town Like Alice

2010-02-14T20:22:00.004-07:00

For those of you who have already read A Town Like Alice, I thought I'd post some discussion questions early. If you haven't read it yet, it might spark some thoughts as you read if you have some of these questions in mind. I am very looking forward to reading this... starting tonight!

I've been getting the questions from different sources, but I thought these ones looked good:

Discussion Questions for A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute Galesburg Public Library Tuesday Book Club November 2006

1. Did you like the book? If so, what was your favorite part of the book?

2. If not, why not?

3. While talking to the narrator, Jean says:

People who spent the war in prison camps have written a lot of books about what a bad time they had....They don’t know what it was like, not being in a camp.

This comment really struck me. Any thoughts about this passage?

4. Did any thing that happened or was said in the book stick with you?

5. When Joe gets caught stealing the chickens, the Japanese soldier who was given a chicken by Jean is punished by the Japanese for “participating” in the crime. When he gets sick later, as the only guard for the women and children, the women nurse him. What do you think about this turn of events?

6. The author uses crucifixion as a plot device. What did you think about this?

7. What do you think about Noel’s attitude toward Jean?

8. Any comments about the way the book ended?

9. In 1998, Random House’s Modern Library published two lists of 100 Best Novels. The list voted on by readers included A Town Like Alice at number 17. What do you think about that? Would you vote to include A Town Like Alice on your personal list of best novels?

10. Has anyone here ever been to Malaya or Australia? Tell us about your experiences.

11. Are there any questions you would like to ask?

Review

2010-02-06T19:02:00.001-07:00

The book club gave Three Cups of Tea

4 stars of 5

A great blog

2010-02-06T18:42:00.002-07:00

All of you who are interested in great children's lit, check out this blog I found. It's packed with great discussion and review of the best of children's lit. Just thought I'd pass it along.

Book of a Thousand Days

2010-02-01T20:50:00.002-07:00

Hi All!

I hope you enjoyed reading Book of a Thousand Days in January. It is one of my favorite Shannon Hale books. One suggestion I got last month when I asked for ways to improve the blog was to always have a list of questions to spark discussion as we did on Wives and Daughters. I agree that it's a great way to spark some thoughts and ideas about the writing, so here are some discussion questions for Book of a Thousand Days brought to you by LitLovers:

Also, consider these LitLovers talking points to help start a conversation for this Book of a Thousand Days:

1. Describe the two young women in this story, Lady Saren and Dashti. In what ways are they different from one another? How does each cope with the deprivations of the tower? (Lest we judge...how would most of us fare locked away in a tower?) Why is it left to Dashti to communicate with the visitors who come to the tower?

2. Do you like the way in which this story is told: with Dashti narrating through her journal. How would you describe Dashti's voice—boastful...self-effacing...bright...depressive... uncertain...strong...thoughtful...? Does her voice change during the story?

3. How does Dashti's background prepare her to endure the isolation of the tower and the hardships of the Mongolian landscape? Talk about the ways in which Dashti's leadership and ingenuity save the two young women in their fight for survival.

4. Describe Dashti's conflict: her growing feelings for Kahn Tegus vs. her loyalty to Saren. How did you feel about the budding relationship between Dashti and Tegus?

5. How would you describe Dashti's healing songs—are they poetry, folk lore, magic? What is their purpose: why does Dashti use them, and why would Hale include them as part of the story?

6. Talk about the male characters: Lord Khasar and Khan Tegus? Are either fully-developed as human beings? Or are they one-dimensional, cartoonish characters?

7. Comment on this lovely passage: "Things worn closest to the skin, to the heart, carry the scent of a person, and of course, scent is the breath of the soul." What might Dashti mean by the last 5 words? Find and read other passages that you find lyrical or otherwise notable.

8. In what way does Saren change by the end of the book? Does she rise in stature in your estimation?

9. Hale based this book on a Brothers Grimm folk tale, "Maid Maleen," in which the imprisoned lady is the heroine, not her servant. Why might Shannon Hale have changed the heroine in her reworking of the original?

10. Does the book deliver in terms of engaging you all the way through? Are characters compelling, is the plot suspenseful, and are you satisfied with how the story ends?

(Questions by LitLovers. Please feel free to use them, online or off, with attribution. Thanks.)

Anne Of Green Gables

2009-12-29T20:58:00.003-07:00

Hello All!

I keep a personal blog in addition to being a contributor here... as I am assuming is the case with most of you... anyhow... Shayla, our dear book-club-leader, asked me to re-post on this blog one that I recently did on my personal blog. Since I-love-her-so I am doing it now. I have much more to say on this subject and hope that we can generate some good discussion. Anyone else read Anne? There is so much to discuss with her. Without further ado... my post:

(Originally Posted HERE on Nov 24, 2009)

I finished reading book #6 in the Anne of Green Gables tonight.

It's entitled Anne of Ingleside.

I must tell you that I am positively smitten with these wholesome and delightful books. I know I use the word "lovely," a lot. Perhaps I throw it out there a bit too frequently, but I assure you that if anything ever deserved the word... these books do.

They are so refreshingly joyful, clean, and lovely.

Anne of Ingleside is set when the young, dreamy, and wide eyed Anne has grown up. She's married and starts the novel with five children. She encompasses so much of what I want to be as a mother and I admit I am envious of the unsullied, simple and romantic world that she gets to raise her darlings in. I wish I could give my own darlings such an enchanting, safe and respectful world to grow up in.

Can I share a few quotes that touched me to tears?

"A sort of moonlit rapture was running through the trees in the Hollow. Anne could even laugh... with a quiver behind the laughter... over their panic of an hour ago and Aunt Mary Maria's absurd suggestions and goulish memories. Her child was safe... Gilbert was somewhere battling to save another child's life... Dear God, help him and help the mother... help all the mothers everywhere. We need so much help, with the little sensitive loving hearts and minds that look to us for guidance and love and understanding."

"..."I should have found out what was troubling her. But I've been too much taken up with other things this week... things that really mattered nothing compared to a child's unhappiness. Think of what the poor darling has suffered." She stooped repentantly, gloatingly over them. They were still hers... wholly hers, to mother and love and protect. They still came to her with every love and grief of their little hearts. For a few years longer they would be hers... and then? Anne shivered. Motherhood was very sweet... but very terrible. "I wonder what life holds for them," she whispered."

This week I encountered some opinions which put me out a bit. They were discussing that being a wife and mother and devoting your all to that isn't good enough. That in order to make a difference in the world... or feel fulfilled... or... I'm not really sure what... you need to be more and look outside just those two little words.

It left me feeling confused and dreary.

I think this book came to me at just the right time. I really believe that Heavenly Father inspired other writers beyond the voices in the scriptures.

Due to Anne and the Ingleside Clan, and a meaningful talk with my Whitney (a more sweet voice on the purpose, duties, and joys of being a wife and mother you will be hard pressed to find)... hashing out all the details that I had been pondering... I feel much better. So so much to say and to consider on that subject but I already went through it all with Whit... I don't feel like doing it here.

Today was so beautiful. My darlings really are just that: My darlings. (Thank you Anne-girl for that term. I am stealing it and claiming it as my own forthwith and henceforth.) Today I chose to let myself revel in the blessing it is to be their mommy and my glass was completely and utterly overflowing. How could I ever have let myself be so bothered? I know there is no place on earth I would rather be or that could make me happier or bring me more fulfillment than in my own home with Corey, Jack and Alaster. What a wonderful thought.

***I realize that I comment a very sensitive subject this evening. I know there are plenty of good women who are able to, and choose to do more... Please know that I am not trying to counter-demean them, or take away from their many accomplishments and contributions. Isn't it wonderful that Heavenly Father has such unique and wonderful plans for each of His children?***

A post from Dee

2009-12-27T14:32:00.002-07:00

This post is in behalf of Deedee, who was having technical difficulties, about Three Cups of Tea:

I think every American should read this book. The villagers shame at 911 was so over powering it was all I could think about for days. The way the people treated him and got him out of country was astonishing. We are lead to believe by the media that all muslims are bad and want to kill us all. NOT SO just the crazy ones that believe Osama bin Laden.

The education part is extraordinary. I loved that they have had their first girl doctor trained. When you educate girls you educate a nation. Long before formal school it is what children learn from their mothers that matters. If their women believe the world is good the children will believe that too and they will not be brain washed into believing other wise. As a great warrior once said his young men were protected because their mothers believed and they did not doubt their mothers. The passion for reading by your mom really shapes how much you desire education. if you see your parents read you will want to read and that is the beginning of educational desire. GREAT BOOK. Loaned out my copy it is still wandering. Hope it comes home soon. I want my sisters to read it.

dee

Book Review

2009-12-26T12:03:00.004-07:00

As a book club, we rated The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

5 out of 5

Our best rating yet! If you haven't read it yet, we highly encourage you!

Education, anyone??

2009-12-26T11:54:00.004-07:00

I'll admit, I just barely started Three Cups of Tea today. I tried it before, but I don't know anything about mountain climbing. But today I pressed forward, and this quote from the book got me thinking a lot.

"Can you imagine a fourth-grade class in America, alone, without a teacher, sitting there quietly and working on their lessons? I felt like my heart was being torn out. There was a fierceness in their desire to learn, despite how mightily everything was stacked against them.... I knew I had to do something." (pg. 32)

So my question is, how can we encourage our children, our nieces, nephews, the community at large to value education in our fame, fashion, sports, money, etc. obsessed society. I am pretty sure that everyone who visits here values education, or you wouldn't be bettering yourselves by reading and discussion, but how do we encourage the next generation to value these same things?? How do we make learning fun? Interesting? Any ideas? (I know there are a lot of educators out there...)

Casting a Late Vote

2009-12-23T19:05:00.004-07:00

So I finally got my copy of The Gurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (note to self: if I ever write a book... do NOT make the title more than three words... no matter how cute it sounds long) and I finished it in about 2 days. I came right to the blog to cast my vote (you know... the rate it on the sidebar that we do for all the books...) and was bummed to find the poll had been closed! I wanted to cast my 5!

What a wonderful book! There's so much I want to say about it but here are the highlights:

I want to move to an island.

I'm so glad I didn't live during WW2.

My favorite funny scene was when Isola stormed in on Juliet after reading Jane Austen and demanding "What else have you been keeping from me?!?"

There are so many loveable characters but I think my favorite was Elizabeth... followed closely by Isola and Dawsey... and Juliet.

Yay for books! Books really can change people!!! They can change the world!!!

Loved the letter/telegraph format. So romantic, so different, so cool.

Basically loved it all... the writing... the characters... the moral points... wonderful. So sweet and so entertaining.

It's probably too late to start a discussion for this book as it's almost time to start 3 cups of tea discussion... which by the by... I volunteer never to choose the book again... I like 3cups okay and I think the story is a fantastic one and very important but I seriously wish someone else had done the actual writing of the story... did anyone else have a hard time getting into it? I am almost done but I just can't seem to make myself finish! As it is my pick though I promise to do it.

In the mean time... if you didn't read The Gurnsey book: DO! It's stupendous! I vote this as our best pick thus far! Nice choice Miss Bott!

Bluestockings

2009-12-03T20:24:00.004-07:00

First of all, I have to say that I loved the witty and charming letters in this book. Nobody writes like this anymore! Now you can take a picture with your cell phone, and email it to someone, but I love the description of the Island and everything else. What a lost art! I must admit that my emails got a little bit more flowery as I have been reading this book. The letters in this book reminded me about the first Mitford book, by Jan Karon, where Father Tim talks his mentor in the church handwriting letters even though he didn't really have the time to, because he was so impressed by the scripture that said that Paul wrote the letters "by his own hand".

I have a serious discussion to post about later, but I was amused at the reference to Bluestockings in both this book and in Wives and Daughters. (Bluestocking is a derogatory term for female intellectuals) In GLAPPPS (lol...great acronym), her fiance breaks up with her calling her a bluestocking because she freaks out when he tries to pack up her books and put them in the basement, and in W&D, Molly is distraught when Mrs. Gibson calls her a bluestocking for reading a Natural History book from Roger. So I'm just throwing this out there... are looks the most important thing for women still, or have we come a long way in allowing women to be intellectuals? Are things the same, or have they really changed?

All in all, loved loved loved this book and recommend it to anyone who enjoys witty and intelligent, tongue-in-cheek writing.

Wives and Daughters Review

2009-12-03T20:23:00.002-07:00

Out of the voting members, we gave Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell

3.8 out of 5

December's Book

2009-11-20T07:50:00.002-07:00

Hi All,

Due to Ashlee's request, here is December's book, chosen by the Ashter herself:

Three cups of tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

Hope this extra week or so helps to get ahold of the book, and looking forward to discussion on Guernsey Literary and P.P.P. Society!

S

Request

2009-11-18T12:39:00.001-07:00

Hello! So I am totally excited to read this months book... but I haven't got it yet! I had to put a request in at the library and I am still about 17 people away from getting it in my hands. I have a feeling that this could happen again... so my request today is that we could start choosing the books a little more in advance? What do you think? I don't want to be a bother, but I really want to start participating again :) -- ASHLEE

Review

2009-11-04T21:16:00.003-07:00

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands received the rating of

3.8 out of 5 from our book club members

Wives and Daughters

2009-10-29T08:10:00.002-06:00

Hello? Are we all still out there?

It has been a long time, my friends, but we are getting to the end of October. For those of you who have finished Wives and Daughters, feel free to start discussing. If any of you haven't finished yet (like myself)... read on!

I found these questions online for Book Club discussions on Wives and Daughters and I thought they might spark some discussion. Feel free to comment on any of these that speak to you, or, as always, feel free to start your own discussion if these don't float your boat! Enjoy!

Discussion Questions

Wives and Daughters
by Elizabeth Gaskell (1866)

The women in Wives and Daughters lead daily lives that conform to 19th-century gender roles for women of their class: they manage the household, arrange flowers, do needlework, and take direction from their husbands, brothers, and fathers. Does the novel offer any critique of Victorian male authority? From a 21st-century perspective, was Elizabeth Gaskell a feminist?
Elizabeth Gaskell lived during a period when the traditional social and political structure of English society was changing. Does Wives and Daughters challenge traditional ideas of social class? List the characters in descending order by their social class. Then list the characters in descending order for quality of mind and/or strength of character. How closely do the two lists match up? What do you think Gaskell believed about how society should be ordered?
Friendship is a prominent theme in the novel. Select three sets of friends. What does each show about the nature of friendship? Which friendships are unexpected or surprising? Which friendships are strongest, and why?
Wives and Daughters has been praised for the three-dimensional quality of its characters, even those who are less appealing, such as Mrs. Kirkpatrick. How does Gaskell help us understand and sympathize with the novel's less likeable characters? How does she reveal the flaws of the more sympathetic characters, like Molly? Is there a character in her novel who is too good to be true? Too bad to be believable?
Anthony Howell, who plays Roger in the film, describes his character as "an unheroic hero." How does Roger differ from a typical hero? From the other men in the novel? From his brother Osborne? Why is it significant that Roger is a scientist and an explorer? What does this rising star at Cambridge need to learn from Molly?
The parent/child relationships in the Gibson household and at Hamley Hall are at the emotional center of the novel. What universal stories does the novel tell about parents and their children? Which relationships did you find most compelling or believable? What are the barriers that keep parents and their children from understanding each other more completely? Do similar barriers still arise today within families?
Wives and Daughters begins like many fairy tales: a single father with a daughter remarries, bringing a stepmother with children of her own into the household. How is Gaskell's story similar to and different from stepmother fairy tales you recall? Why do you think so many writers and storytellers have used the stepmother plot?
Gaskell died before she finished Wives and Daughters. The manuscript ends after Roger leaves again for Africa without telling Molly how he feels. Gaskell's notes indicate that she intended to write a love scene and a happy ending for Molly and Roger upon Roger's return. How did screenwriter Andrew Davies choose to script the final scenes? What do you think of his ending? Is the film's imagined ending consistent with the rest of the novel and the period in which it was written? How do you think Elizabeth Gaskell would react if she had a chance to see the end of the film?
Andrew Davies believes that Wives and Daughters will appeal to today's audiences because it is a story about second families -- common in the 19th-century because of high death rates, common today because of divorce and remarriage. Do you agree? What other themes, conflicts, or ideas in this 1866 novel have relevance for modern readers?

September's book

2009-09-07T20:43:00.003-06:00

Wow... it's September 7th! Really? I don't know how the first of the month got away from me except I've been busy getting school going again. So I apologize that this was not done sooner!

3 of 4 people voted to read Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell for our next book (which will be September AND October's book so we can make it through the lengthiness (is that a word?)) I hope to have discussion at the end of September on what we've read so far just so we don't go so long without a good discussion (thanks for the idea, Katers!) Happy reading!!

It was a Thinker

2009-08-30T12:39:00.005-06:00

I don't love Dr. Laura. She is not my favorite, nor do I worship her and take everything she says as scripture. However...

I really liked this book just because it made me think. It made me think differently about certain issues, about the trends in our society, and about the trends in my household. I liked that she is a traditionalist and that the book gave some secular back-up to what we learn in our religion. Women are the nurturers. End of story. Women are in charge of the household for the most part. And that includes cooking and cleaning and other wifely duties. Even if we do live in an age where women have to work outside the home. And I love that Julie Beck says that we, as LDS women, should do this better than anyone else on the earth because of what we know. But do we?

Having known most of you for awhile, I can safely say that you all are very good examples of this to me. In reading this book, I gave myself a long hard look to see whether I was doing what I was ought to. Yes, I was... but not very consistently. So consistency is the name of the game in our household anymore.

All the talk about the negative impact the feminist movement has had in our society, and how women have been made to believe that people are unisex, having no specific responsibilities or functions in society associated with gender really struck home for me. I see it so much around me, and, in fact, had stopped hanging around a group of women a few months previously because every time we met it turned into a husband bagging party. Since when did that become entertainment? How did we get this way as a society?

The way a husband and wife ought to interact with each other reminded me of something I read in The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. (Which, by the way, was a very good book in that it gets you to think about the godhead in a little bit different way, although it's not necessarily doctrinally founded. I would recommend it though) It is talking about how hierarchy is a human invention. The author (who is speaking to God in the book) challenges that and says, what about how The Father is first, and then next is The Son, and then next comes The Holy Ghost? The answer was that if each individual in the relationship submits their wills to the other person fully and completely, always caring more for the others than for themselves, this takes the hierarchy away and turns it into a cycle of selflessness. The author challenged how this could possibly work, and "God" says that it only works fully when all people in the relationship are really committed to it. Then no one feels like they have to "watch out for their own selves" because the other person is already doing that and that leaves them emotionally free to look out for their interests in return. I'm not explaining it very well, but I thought that related to marriage. It builds strong bonds of love to serve your husband so fully that he has time to serve you and others.

So this was quite lengthy, but the book just gave me a lot of food for thought. What did you guys think?

Follow Ups

2009-08-29T07:49:00.004-06:00

I actually really enjoyed The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, but did it bug anyone else that she used so many examples of phone calls and letters of horrible ways wives treated their husbands, but then there was never any follow up to prove that the advice she gave worked for those people. The examples of the advice working always came from separate callers or letters. I guess I just like a little more resolution and the point of all the examples is not resolution (because my bet is that most of those awful examples did not make the marriage last), but to open our eyes and recognize some of the things wives can slip into doing that make for lass harmonious marriage. Sorry, I don't even know if this paragraph makes sense.

One chapter that struck home for me was about not letting yourself go and becoming a frumpy wife. I don't even have a kid as an excuse yet and I find myself never getting ready and putting cute clothes on or doing my hair and make-up anymore unless we are going to go out with someone else. And my husband should be the one I'm getting ready to impress..not other people. So does anyone have any tips on motivation for getting yourself out of a frump slump?

What do you think?

2009-08-28T11:47:00.002-06:00

Hi all my lovely book-y friends,

We had a tie in the vote for September's book. So I am asking that you comment and give your input by September 1...not very much time!

Should we read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis?

OR

Should we read Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell?

Before you comment, here's some important info:

If we read Wives and Daughters, I propose we read it for September AND October because it is quite lengthy. So having said that, what do you want to read?

Twelfth Angel Review

2009-08-28T11:43:00.001-06:00

The participating members of the review of Twelfth Angel by Og Mandino gave this book:

3.5 out of 5

Okay, people, I need your help...

2009-08-12T11:59:00.005-06:00

As a mom, just when I had the infant stage "under control" (which may have been a myth in and of itself), I have been thrust full force into toddler-dom, where there's some disciplining that needs to go on in an appropriate way, etc. and I am finding myself in uncharted territory once again!

I have been reading a book called "Things to Do with Toddlers and Twos" by Karen Miller this morning and came across a passage that raised a question. This book is obviously more geared towards day care givers in a classroom type situation, but she says that one thing you should never do is to force a child to say they're sorry because it breeds insincerity. My immediate reaction is that the child needs to learn the context for "sorry" and the only way she can do that is just like with learning "please" or "thank you"...you have to show the child how to use the word appropriately so they know what it means. It also states very clearly that you should not use food, stickers, candy, star charts, etc. for rewards, but in my experience, it's a great tool to teach good behavior. Am I just out in left field?

So, Moms, Grandmas, Future Moms, and anyone who interacts with toddlers, what is your opinion?

I also would like to know everyone's favorite parenting books as well. I just got "Happiest Toddler on the Block", but I am open to any suggestions!

Who Is Your Twelfth Angel?

2009-07-28T09:02:00.002-06:00

Do any of you have someone that sticks out in your mind as an example of courage, bravery, and a positive attitude in the face of adversity? Let me tell you about mine.

He was the bishop of our ward recently. Little less than a year ago, his wife gave birth to their fourth child, he found out that he had lymphoma, and was called as bishop all in a short space of time. He passed away just a couple of weeks ago. He was the best example of a positive attitude that I have ever seen. During the course of his illness, he would experience so much pain that it hurt to sit still, but he would come and sit through as much of our church meetings as he possibly could, with a smile on his face! His counselor told us of a Sunday when he had been so ill that he couldn't come to the morning meetings. The counselor sent word home with his son, who had been collecting tithing, not to worry about coming to church that day, that they had it covered. He jokingly said to tell him that if he came he would hit him. The bishop walked in just as the opening hymn started, took his seat on the stand, and whispered to his counselor, "I dare you to hit me in front of all these people." This is just one example of the humor and bravery he showed over the last several months. He was only released from his calling a few weeks before he passed away. He said that he knew that he was supposed to fulfill this calling and would do so as long as he was physically able to. He did so much for the people of our ward, and was always more worried about others than himself. He was so selfless with his time and energy, even during a time of such trial for himself and his family. He was also a great example of faith in doing what he knew our Heavenly Father wanted him to do. He never gave up, and he never lost faith that he would be taken care of.

I know that he is no longer in pain, and that he is where our Father in Heaven needs him to be. My heart breaks for his wife and children, but even they have been such good examples to us all. Their husband and father passed away on a Tuesday, and the oldest son was ready to do baptisms for the dead on Thursday with the youth in our ward. The whole family was at church that Sunday. At the viewing, rather than listen to others' condolences, his wife would tell each person who came through something nice that her husband had said about them, or some piece of advice she had learned through all of this.

I only new this man for the short time he was bishop, as we had only recently moved into the ward, but he has left a mark on my life that can never be forgotten. I have never before heard of someone who had touched so many lives, and accomplished so much in 38 short years. I hope you don't mind me sharing a scripture that gave me comfort at the time of his funeral. D&C 42:45-46 "Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die, and more especially for those that have not hope of a glorious resurrection. And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them;"

Not much to do with Anything...

2009-07-25T17:27:00.002-06:00

... But, I've been actually thinking about reading Wives and Daughters lately so I think that would be fun, but any book is fine.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen/read North and South? The book is by the same author of Wives and Daughters and if you loved Pride and Prejudice, you'll love this one.

Actually, it's similar to Pride and Prejudice in the way that The Lightning Thief is similar to Harry Potter. They both have similar plots and characters, but they are both VERY good in different ways. The same is with North and South and Pride and Prejudice.

The similarity doesn't bother me though, does it bother other people?

I know this is random but it was just on my mind.

The Twelfth Angel

2009-07-23T19:42:00.003-06:00

I know it's not quite the end of the month, but I really liked this book. It's been a rough month for me, not in the same way as the main characters, but rough none the less. I appreciated Og Mandino's ideas on positive thinking. My question is this, what do you use to pick yourself up, or get through rough patches? And has anyone used this method of positive thinking and had good results?

The Great Divorce

2009-07-22T10:29:00.002-06:00

I finished The Great Divorce last night by C.S. Lewis. AWE-SOME! It's a little intense, but a great review of the idea of Heaven and Hell by this masterful authors. I recommend it to anyone looking for a great book on this interesting topic!

Book Review: The Lightning Thief

2009-07-15T21:46:00.003-06:00

This book was hard to get ahold of, so not many were actually able to read it, but out of 4 votes, the Lightning Thief had an average book club review of

3.5 out of 5

Hope you are enjoying The Twelfth Angel!

Book Club Review

2009-06-26T13:04:00.005-06:00

Hi all,

According to our poll (thanks to those who voted!) this was the average response for the past two books. If you haven't voted for The Lightning Thief yet, take a sec...it's fun!

The 5 People You Meet in Heaven got a reader review of
3.3 out of 5

Little Britches got a reader review of
4.2 out of 5

What did you think?

2009-06-21T19:39:00.003-06:00

My question this month is a simple one. What did you think of the Lightning Thief? What was your favorite part? Least favorite part? That's it! Easy Peasy

Book Recommendations?

2009-06-07T20:58:00.004-06:00

Hi all!

I hope you have gotten a copy of The Lightning Thief and are enjoying it thus far. In the meantime, I was wondering what your favorite book is and why (I know it's hard to choose just one, so if you must put several, then you must :). Then we will all have a trusted resource for a good book recommendation...

As for me...

(and I know Ashlee agrees with me on this one) The Book Thief is by far my favorite book to date. Great writing style, very unique narrator (death), great relationships (her and her papa), gripping story, and although it has a weighty subject material, it still leaves you better than when you picked it up, and makes you feel good and realize what is important in life.

It also depends on what "favorite" category you are talking...

favorite light reading with a cute love story: anything Shannon Hale, especially Book of a Thousand Days

favorite classic: that's a toughy... maybe Tale of two cities, or Little Women

favorite self-help type book: Thinking Body, Dancing Mind

favorite children's book: The Ordinary Princess

favorite book growing up (that I read 100 times): Girl of the Limberlost

so.... a penny for your thoughts...

Adoration

2009-05-25T22:20:00.003-06:00

I thought it was so refreshing to read a book where a child loves and absolutely adores his father. I have read so many lately of broken and dysfunctional relationships between parent and offspring that this was a breath of fresh air! I think it says so much about their relationship and his father as a parent when Ralph said, "I always loved him more after he chastised me." How many children honestly can say that?

Ralph's father reminded me so much of my Grandpa Brown (Amanda, my cousin, thought the exact same thing) in that he didn't say much, but when he did speak, you payed attention, and it was always just the right thing to say at that moment. It made me long for the good old days where hard work, and ingenuity and common sense were highly valued. It made me miss my Grandpa and helped me to see him for the true gem that he was. He never called attention to himself, so sometimes it's easy to overlook some of the wonderful things he did. But just like Ralph's dad, he just always went about attending to what needed to be attended to with a quiet dignity and leading by example.

I loved "watching" the ranch come together piece by piece as I read and I especially loved his father's teaching moments throughout the book. So my question is to you, what was your favorite teaching moment he had with his father? I think mine was when his father taught him that it didn't matter what a persons skin color was, but that the only thing to be worried about with other men is whether they were honest or dishonest. It seems so scarce to see such honesty in this day.

Is It Always Black or White?

2009-05-24T10:10:00.003-06:00

First of all, I have to say I loved this months book! I think it totally captured the typical American boy. I can see my brother, my husband, and my own two little boys thinking and doing all of the things that Ralph did. This book made me laugh and it made me cry. I love a book that can do that.

Now for a question. My husband and I have the discussion about boys fighting all the time. I've always said that I think fighting is bad no matter what, and that I would always punish our kids for fighting. My husband takes the stance that if it is in self defense, or defense of another, he'd take them out for ice cream afterwards. Reading this book made me wonder if maybe I'm wrong. I felt awful for Ralph and wondered if I was his mother, if I would have been able to hold to the original warning of punishment. I guess that's why its good that kids have a mom and a dad to balance them out. What do you think?

A thought

2009-05-05T10:35:00.004-06:00

I just loved this paragraph from the book, and I wanted to know everyone's thoughts on this:

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair." (pg. 104)

I loved this metaphor and it made me see things a little differently-from my parents perspective, and from my perspective as a parent. Will I smudge or crack? Will my kids forgive me for my inadequacies? What are your thoughts?

Hello?

2009-04-28T20:06:00.004-06:00

Am I allowed to start posting now?

I figure it's almost the end of the month and we ought to get this party started!

I've never belonged to an actual book club before so I hope I am not totally showing my inexperience as I start the discussion. If I do it wrong please let me know.

Okay I would like to know: For you, what was the most meaningful and touching person that he met and also if there were any that fell flat for you that you thought their lesson could have been better...

On your marks.... get set.... discuss!

-Ashlee

Welcome, friends!!

2009-04-01T19:06:00.000-06:00

Hello from Ashlee and Shayla and welcome to our online Book Club!

While we each have had an unofficial book club going on for some time, recommending and receiving recommendations from our good friends, we wanted to have something more official to bring us together more often to discuss what we all love...reading! We have friends all over the place, so while we would love to meet physically and catch up and discuss the books we've been reading, an online edition is more practical.

Please join us and invite your friends. We will read a book a month and post discussions and questions at the end of the month for each other. Leave a comment here if you would like to join us and I will send you an invitation. We will all be contributors to the blog, so you can post whatever you'd like along the way, and we'll all take turns selecting books.

For our first month, we will be reading The Five People you Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. If you've already read it, stay tuned to help us discuss...

Happy reading!