First of all, I have to say I loved this months book! I think it totally captured the typical American boy. I can see my brother, my husband, and my own two little boys thinking and doing all of the things that Ralph did. This book made me laugh and it made me cry. I love a book that can do that.
Now for a question. My husband and I have the discussion about boys fighting all the time. I've always said that I think fighting is bad no matter what, and that I would always punish our kids for fighting. My husband takes the stance that if it is in self defense, or defense of another, he'd take them out for ice cream afterwards. Reading this book made me wonder if maybe I'm wrong. I felt awful for Ralph and wondered if I was his mother, if I would have been able to hold to the original warning of punishment. I guess that's why its good that kids have a mom and a dad to balance them out. What do you think?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
I have been thinking a lot about this in the last little while... I am more of a follower, so my husband takes the lead in a lot of things, but then I start to think, am I not fulfilling my job as a nurturer and mother by not speaking up more and insisting on some things instead of just keeping the peace? I am very glad that my little one has both me and her father to guide and help her, because my husband definitely makes up where I lack...
ReplyDeleteThis post also made me think of that Kenny Rogers song that finishes with the line, "sometimes you have to fight when you're a man". Although it sounds a little hokey to be taking advice from a country song, I think that there is some truth to that. I think what they are fighting about determines largely whether it was appropriate or not, but maybe sometimes it's a good thing, to protect your family and character.
Corey (my hubby) and I talk a lot about what horrible parents we would be if we were doing it alone. I know there are excellent single parents out there, but I think I would be a total disaster if it were me. When we were dating and newly wed we thought that Corey would be the relaxed, easy going, patient one, and that I would be the disciplinarian, but it turns out that the roles totally reversed. He has taught me the importance of following through and teaching through discipline and I hope I have taught him some patience, to let the small things go, and to enjoy the stages we are at.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the fighting thing... for ME... and who knows I haven't come across this yet... I think the ONLY way I would be okay with my child fighting would be if someone, either themselves or a loved one, were in serious physical danger and there was absolutely no other way of resolving it in the moment. There are SO many more effective and appropriate ways of dealing with things. Fighting in THIS day and age scares me too. I think culturally there are a lot of differences between now and back then. There are more serious consequences for kids who fight at school etc.
I think things are definitely different now, so I don't know how I feel about my own future children fighting, but while I was reading the book, I was definitely thinking Ralph needed to defend himself. The first few times of turning the other cheek were fine, but if I had been his mother after that I would have told him to defend himself.
ReplyDeleteI think in the end, boys will be boys and they are going to get into trouble like that no matter what you try to teach them, so doing your best to teach them restraint is probably the way to go.
I had a hard time with the fact that the teacher said he wasn't adjusted until he fought the other boy at school. (yes I did read that part). I'm still thinking about it because I hate that he had to give in to the fighting to be respected but I also think that we should try to fit in with our community. I hated how the other boys treated him at the beginning and I still have a hard time with it, but I think he did right by earning their respect. And I love his Dad's comment to him afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm a little more of a rabble rouser, because I think that physical fighting is way better than how girls solve problems. READ: I do not advocate fighting. However, if I have to deal with a fourth grade fight, I would way rather deal with a boy fight than a girl fight. Boys have a problem and they yell at each other or yes, hit. Then it's done. They shake hands, apologize, and they are friends again. Girls, it's a long, drawn out, gossipy, who can I get on my side fight. (Can you tell I'm done with school? That may change my opinion.)
ReplyDeleteNow, as far as being a parent we haven't really had to tackle that issue as Paul is only two. Do I intend to teach him every other way to solve a problem besides fighting? Absolutely. Will I discipline him if he ends up fighting? Probably. Will it freak me out if he does? I doubt it.
I don't necessarily agree with the teacher when she says that he isn't adjusted, but I can also see her point.
I do love the dad in this book. I wish everyone had someone in their life that could help them in that way.