More "help"...

Ashlee left a comment on my blog wanting to talk about The Help some more, and I totally agree.  We haven't even scratched the surface on this one!  This book has so many themes and issues in it, it would take a long time to do it justice.  But I did want to comment on these two questions put out by the publisher:

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother but, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter— and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

I have always struggled with being a good judge of character.  I think I'm more like Celia in that I tend to see everyone as good, even if what they do is not in keeping with that...which I think is a good thing to some extent.  But...my husband on the other hand is the type of person who can tell what kind of character a person has just from meeting them once.  He frequently will tell me that I need to watch out for so and so so they don't take advantage of me or something similar, and I usually listen but think he's being a little harsh... surely that person isn't thaaaaat bad, right?  And then usually months or years later that person will do something and burn me and I'll have to admit that my husband was one hundred percent right about that person.

I'm not condoning snap judgments, but waiting until you get burned by someone to stop trusting them can't be the best way to live, do you think?  Does anyone else struggle with the mix of good and bad in people?  I  have a hard time knowing who to trust and when.  Is that a bad thing? Or is it worse to judge people before they act?  I wish that this wasn't even an issue but in our world today, I think things aren't so much black and white as they are every shade of gray, with evil being disguised as good and vice versa.  And maybe that's what we're here for-to love everyone even with all their unsympathetic qualities. But I don't think that means we shouldn't judge righteously...

My first reaction was to not like Skeeter's mom, but in the end, she did stand up for Skeeter and maybe I wouldn't have acted much differently had I lived in that area at that time.  I don't know?

I'm not saying this very well, but do y'all know what I mean?