It was a Thinker

I don't love Dr. Laura. She is not my favorite, nor do I worship her and take everything she says as scripture. However...

I really liked this book just because it made me think. It made me think differently about certain issues, about the trends in our society, and about the trends in my household. I liked that she is a traditionalist and that the book gave some secular back-up to what we learn in our religion. Women are the nurturers. End of story. Women are in charge of the household for the most part. And that includes cooking and cleaning and other wifely duties. Even if we do live in an age where women have to work outside the home. And I love that Julie Beck says that we, as LDS women, should do this better than anyone else on the earth because of what we know. But do we?

Having known most of you for awhile, I can safely say that you all are very good examples of this to me. In reading this book, I gave myself a long hard look to see whether I was doing what I was ought to. Yes, I was... but not very consistently. So consistency is the name of the game in our household anymore.

All the talk about the negative impact the feminist movement has had in our society, and how women have been made to believe that people are unisex, having no specific responsibilities or functions in society associated with gender really struck home for me. I see it so much around me, and, in fact, had stopped hanging around a group of women a few months previously because every time we met it turned into a husband bagging party. Since when did that become entertainment? How did we get this way as a society?

The way a husband and wife ought to interact with each other reminded me of something I read in The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. (Which, by the way, was a very good book in that it gets you to think about the godhead in a little bit different way, although it's not necessarily doctrinally founded. I would recommend it though) It is talking about how hierarchy is a human invention. The author (who is speaking to God in the book) challenges that and says, what about how The Father is first, and then next is The Son, and then next comes The Holy Ghost? The answer was that if each individual in the relationship submits their wills to the other person fully and completely, always caring more for the others than for themselves, this takes the hierarchy away and turns it into a cycle of selflessness. The author challenged how this could possibly work, and "God" says that it only works fully when all people in the relationship are really committed to it. Then no one feels like they have to "watch out for their own selves" because the other person is already doing that and that leaves them emotionally free to look out for their interests in return. I'm not explaining it very well, but I thought that related to marriage. It builds strong bonds of love to serve your husband so fully that he has time to serve you and others.

So this was quite lengthy, but the book just gave me a lot of food for thought. What did you guys think?

Follow Ups

I actually really enjoyed The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, but did it bug anyone else that she used so many examples of phone calls and letters of horrible ways wives treated their husbands, but then there was never any follow up to prove that the advice she gave worked for those people. The examples of the advice working always came from separate callers or letters. I guess I just like a little more resolution and the point of all the examples is not resolution (because my bet is that most of those awful examples did not make the marriage last), but to open our eyes and recognize some of the things wives can slip into doing that make for lass harmonious marriage. Sorry, I don't even know if this paragraph makes sense.

One chapter that struck home for me was about not letting yourself go and becoming a frumpy wife. I don't even have a kid as an excuse yet and I find myself never getting ready and putting cute clothes on or doing my hair and make-up anymore unless we are going to go out with someone else. And my husband should be the one I'm getting ready to impress..not other people. So does anyone have any tips on motivation for getting yourself out of a frump slump?

What do you think?

Hi all my lovely book-y friends,

We had a tie in the vote for September's book. So I am asking that you comment and give your input by September 1...not very much time!

Should we read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis?

OR

Should we read Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell?

Before you comment, here's some important info:

If we read Wives and Daughters, I propose we read it for September AND October because it is quite lengthy. So having said that, what do you want to read?

Twelfth Angel Review

The participating members of the review of Twelfth Angel by Og Mandino gave this book:

3.5 out of 5

Okay, people, I need your help...

As a mom, just when I had the infant stage "under control" (which may have been a myth in and of itself), I have been thrust full force into toddler-dom, where there's some disciplining that needs to go on in an appropriate way, etc. and I am finding myself in uncharted territory once again!

I have been reading a book called "Things to Do with Toddlers and Twos" by Karen Miller this morning and came across a passage that raised a question. This book is obviously more geared towards day care givers in a classroom type situation, but she says that one thing you should never do is to force a child to say they're sorry because it breeds insincerity. My immediate reaction is that the child needs to learn the context for "sorry" and the only way she can do that is just like with learning "please" or "thank you"...you have to show the child how to use the word appropriately so they know what it means. It also states very clearly that you should not use food, stickers, candy, star charts, etc. for rewards, but in my experience, it's a great tool to teach good behavior. Am I just out in left field?

So, Moms, Grandmas, Future Moms, and anyone who interacts with toddlers, what is your opinion?

I also would like to know everyone's favorite parenting books as well. I just got "Happiest Toddler on the Block", but I am open to any suggestions!