Ashlee left a comment on my blog wanting to talk about The Help some more, and I totally agree. We haven't even scratched the surface on this one! This book has so many themes and issues in it, it would take a long time to do it justice. But I did want to comment on these two questions put out by the publisher:
2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother but, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?
3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter— and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?
I have always struggled with being a good judge of character. I think I'm more like Celia in that I tend to see everyone as good, even if what they do is not in keeping with that...which I think is a good thing to some extent. But...my husband on the other hand is the type of person who can tell what kind of character a person has just from meeting them once. He frequently will tell me that I need to watch out for so and so so they don't take advantage of me or something similar, and I usually listen but think he's being a little harsh... surely that person isn't thaaaaat bad, right? And then usually months or years later that person will do something and burn me and I'll have to admit that my husband was one hundred percent right about that person.
I'm not condoning snap judgments, but waiting until you get burned by someone to stop trusting them can't be the best way to live, do you think? Does anyone else struggle with the mix of good and bad in people? I have a hard time knowing who to trust and when. Is that a bad thing? Or is it worse to judge people before they act? I wish that this wasn't even an issue but in our world today, I think things aren't so much black and white as they are every shade of gray, with evil being disguised as good and vice versa. And maybe that's what we're here for-to love everyone even with all their unsympathetic qualities. But I don't think that means we shouldn't judge righteously...
My first reaction was to not like Skeeter's mom, but in the end, she did stand up for Skeeter and maybe I wouldn't have acted much differently had I lived in that area at that time. I don't know?
My first reaction was to not like Skeeter's mom, but in the end, she did stand up for Skeeter and maybe I wouldn't have acted much differently had I lived in that area at that time. I don't know?
I'm not saying this very well, but do y'all know what I mean?
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This is an interesting discussion. I still need to read the book. I think I fall into your category or trusting people too much. But I'm afraid I wait to get burned before I stop trusting and then sometimes still don't learn my lesson. It's a lesson I need to learn soon, because, as you said, there is a lot that is bad that is packaged as good and we need to discern the difference. I think you can still love someone including their unsympathetic qualities while at the same time not putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of.
ReplyDeleteShay and Kat: I appreciated both of your comments on this. I'm not sure who I am most like...?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was reading Hilly... who as someone has already made the comment was 'so fun to hate' (loved that description by the way) I couldn't help but wonder who HER mother was. What deep psychological need did she have to be such a witch? Surely this was coming from somewhere. I don't think people just naturally are that way. I had fun hating her, but I also really pitied her because she was obviously so miserable... how could you act like that and NOT be miserable. Imagine the amount of effort required to go out of your way like she did to make people so unhappy. That surely would take its toll. Yet in the end I still wasn't sympathetic to her at all because to me everything she did was so very concious. It wasn't that she had been brought up a certain way and that her ideas were skewed.... I think it was a power thing and I didn't feel bad for her even though I wondered about her past.
I didn't like Skeeter's mother at first either... but like Shayla, ended up liking her in the end. I'm not sure what the difference is between her mom and Hilly... but there was one. Right? Anyone else feel that way?
Reading all of these characters, and having read other books set in time periods like this always makes me wonder what I would have acted like. I would sincerely hope that I would be a Skeeter, but I have a fear that maybe I would be an Elizabeth! I hope, hope, HOPE not, but having never been there I can't say for sure. Elizabeth was the scariest to me because I think she KNEW it was all wrong, but she didn't have the courage to stand up. She allowed herself to be controlled just to keep the peace and to be on the good side of the people who mattered to her. I can't imagine myself not knowing what was right, but whether or not I'd have the courage to act... and how FAR would I act is another story. Interesting.
Thanks for discussing more Shay! I Love it!
I like Ashlee's comment about Elizabeth being the scariest character. I hadn't thought of her in that way but it is so true, is she almost worse than Hilly because she knew it was wrong? I love getting in to all these deep thoughts about the characters and then remembering-oh ya they aren't real! The author did such a good job with each character, does anyone know if she has written anything else worth reading?
ReplyDeleteI believe this is the authors first book. She is speaking at sundance's literary series this summer. I think I'm going to go if you want to join!
ReplyDeleteJamie, to elaborate on the scary comment: I kind of believe that most people at heart are good. Hey look at that... I AM a Celia. I had been wondering after Shay's comments... ANYWAY... I guess because I think most people are good at heart it's not the Hilly's in the world that are scary- she wouldn't have had ANY of the power that she did except that people gave it to her. It's the followers in the world that make a difference. Leaders would be nothing without those that they lead. And I think the principle applies in both positive and negative ways.
ReplyDeleteShay I WANT TO GO!!! Stupid Illinois :(
I just read all my comments. I SO wish we were able to get together in person. I think I'd do a much better job explaining how I feel. :(
ReplyDeleteI always feel the same way. Its hard to convey what you want to say on a blog and I never feel like I do a good job...you on the other hand are always so good with your comments. (although I could really do with a good sit down with y'all! I would love it!)
ReplyDeleteBut I really wanted to say how great your comment is, Ashlee. I had never thought about leadership in that way before. What would happen in the world if we stopped giving people like that the power they need to do such negative things.